The trial of banker Herve Falciani began monday in Switzerland. Falciani is best known for exposing the tax evasion schemes of HSBC to the public and now stands accused of such heinous crimes as telling the truth, increasing transparency, exposing corruption and opposing the plutarchy.
Swiss president Simonetta Sommaruga made the following statement: "His actions have threatened the fragile social order by implying that the rich are not above the law and shouldn't be slowly turning western societies into third world nations by taking advantage of them yet refusing to contribute to them. Such men must be stopped."
We contacted current HSBC group chairman Douglas Flint and he had this to say on the matter: "Though murder may be a heinous crime, it is nothing compared to denouncing what we are doing. We are hoping to obtain a life sentence for Falciani. Because of him, we had to pay over forty million dollars in bribes. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go stroke the bags of money holding the 5.52 billion euros of profits we made this quarter." We stopped him for one last question, asking him whether he thought people approved of what they did. "Does it matter? Why would it matter? They're not going to do anything about it anyway. And if they do, we'll just have our police forces imprison them." Mister Flint then cackled loudly, turned into a bat and flittered away.
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